Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Seven WEIRDest Things About...Me.

It's very easy to bump onto something around the net, that you can't not think less about, and that just stipples across your freaky self libido. There is this "7 Weird Things About Me..." meme that stuck me and mercilessly stole away my sleep last night - Yeah even my slumber fingers are feeling dreadful now as it continues with this incessant key-tapping.
Anyway at last the weird self within me has been gracefully weird enough to recall these weird set of things that relates to me, unfailingly:

+ I spend most of the times formatting any soft document than reading inside it - maybe close to nineties in percent. Because I can't get whats cribbed IN there! Those ugly creepy words.
Last week I had to finish up this Excel sheet which hardly contained more than 400 words - A ten-something list of some software rules that would closely resemble, in its contextual simplicity - the DO's and DONT'S of public toilet system. I spent seven sober days religiously staring 'around' that Excel. But yeah at last it turned out very colorful, with all non-flashy color grids that could settle any artist's aesthetic urge...
Other than this, I also tend to scream inside me when I see something like...sspeling miss-takes, or a space between a comma and its preceding word - that's blasphemy! - a comma must follow the word immediately and urgently.

+ If there's something for me that's just slightly less tougher and quirky to understand than the Theory of Relativity, then it would be my Salary Structure - all its bits and components and exactly why I am getting what. I should admit I'm grossly promiscuous about money and probably among the most generous taxpayer to our Fin Min. And did I miss anything about Credit Cards? If my lender has only 1000 loose canon customers just like me then it would've made fortunes out of the magnanimous interests I pay to them. I've decided I'll soon tore my cards away into nothingness.

+ I like Spywares when they hunt my system, just because of their innocuous begging to seek my attention, and I feeling dignified enough in ignoring them. Yes it's that pride you would feel being a playboy ignoring all the flirting chicks around you - Nah! none of them are good. I like spywares, because of the inherent weakness in their spiteful design. I like the flashiness in their evil stare at me and the same intensity of indifference I return to them. Few of them ran into my system sometime back. I did nothing, I didn't panic. They have disappeard by now, and I don't know how...there's no cruel Anti-Virus sentinel on my system, I'm too lazy to install one.

+ There's something called 'changing directions' people remain unsure about, then the 'lonely directions' one has to toil in darkness, and then this 'sense of direction' - which I've been deprived of all (since birth?). Like they say: "A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses...” Where did I lost mine!
A terrible Example: During my past commute to the workplace, I used to get lost On The Way to office & back home, more too often - all through the six months I existed there. Heck! there were too many mindless criss-cross fucking streets I can't just catch hold of. A faithful friend made me remember the simplest path all through the maze...By the way, would you believe, I also get confused of the 'Left' and 'Right', the 'East' and 'West' etc around me, and pretty often have to think few moments to correct things.

+ For quite sometime now I've been in pursuit of mentoring few young guns, who more often come out to be more mature and sensible than me :) Result is: You remain surrounded by novelty of thoughts which closely test every bit of assumptions you've weaved of the world around you. It tempts you to start things all over again from the first baby step on the ground you took in life, but again you realize in a moment vulnerability - that you are now big brother to somebody, who inadvertently would look up to you.
And as for these 'somebody' (kids), they seem to construct, out of their sizzling imagination, a spunky world thousand miles away from the 'real' one that we have weakly assumed to exist around us - the world so infirm, jaded and impaired.

+ I always thought of people half-hanging in the Mumbai local trains as of Daredevil stunt-men. I mean, for the novice, can there be less hand-clutching heart-pounding moment than to ride at 85-100 Kmph with half his (her) body mass out into the screeching airs. Do they had such a bad time at home last night? 'Hang' and feel fucking free isn't it?...You know people 'Fight' to get a place at the edge. Living on the edge - exactly. Anyway the weird part here is, now I also feel comfortable doing the same. Standing IN there. (Why? Ask My Maker.)

+ I've a habit of getting admits for higher studies abroad from good places, And of not going finally :). Because it's exactly after all the fire fighting and getting a coveted call, that I come to realize I'm not at all suited for further studies. Perhaps the point of return is a guiding intution that remain a bit lazy in its job. 1, 2, 3...And counting. And yes I don't seek pleasure in boasting about them. I'll pause to let you construct your own sensible joke out of this.

That's all...I don't have anyone to tag to on this post...:( what about you?

Image Courtesy: Flickr, stock.xchng & everystockphoto. ]
No Exaggeration PUKED, Anywhere. You see, I Love Facts. ]


Apugonnab said...

Very nice..

I agree with the spyware bit at some level.. I have this huge sense of power over this machine when I say 'No' to one of those 'Install now?' questions!! :-)

& Mentoring is a great way to go.. I just got back after conducting a summer camp for kids.. It was mind blowing!! Super fantastic Excellent Balle!! :-)

A said...

I recall one good day at ILP I came to your desk for some work on your machine and I said 'Thank god there's at least one fast system out here'...to which you quipped 'MY PC and Slow...Never!'
...And I thought (but didn't say) - NOW that's someone unique like me :)

Cyzak said...

Mate.. I am really happy I have found someone with sense of direction poorer than me :)
And please do not look for sspeling mistakes.. sure enough my typing/english sucks big time :)
Salary structure are not to be understood. If u understand them it will loose all its charisma :P
And dude I dont think ur lazy, mean u were not so back in insti. and I totally believe you should go for higher education..

What else.. As per machine(laptop) is concerned, I think its the greatest gift of GOD to mankind. Its like ur kingdom, Ur all powerful there :P

anji said...

..."A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses...” Where did I lost mine!...

i'd say somewhere around using a 'lost' after u 'did'!

A said...

Well I couldn't get what you meant by that "around using a 'lost' after u 'did'"...but thanks for turning up here...Keep coming, for lesser weird things :)


anji said...

dear author,
sarcasms aren't meant to be explained! but in an effort to prove that my joke did have a direction if not the author (or as he claims!), its interesting to notice a grammar mistake (use of lost after a did) from someone who screams inside on a spelling mistake or a punctuational error!


A said...

He he there you go...I admit.
I won't be priggish and say I didn't mention 'grammatical error' for my screaming :)
But actually thought your sarcasm had some deeper-meaning I couldn't get, than a primitive grammar one :)


anji said...

See that's what I don't get...why do we always confuse our reviews/comments for mysterious deep meanings than just silly simple ones?! ;)

anyways...keep writing fix-it chap!!


A said...

Mysterious deep meanings of comments...? No not always...depends on what type of reader it is :) ...in this case the reader's blog seemed not-so-superficial like the normal ones...maybe that's why all our responses have been so.

Fix-it?...not sure this means here.


anji said...

ahha! so mr author was kind enough to read the reader's blog before he could think of an apt response! the reader in all honesty is flattered but at the risk of undermining her own thoughts wishes to say that one blog entry on sociology class doesn't outline the depth of this reader's mind..at all!
and either ways blogs are for prompting random strangers to stop and post quirky comments...no more no less!!

PS: in saying not-so-superficial ones, do i see a hidden complement for my blog or was I just reading too much between the lines again?! :)

A said...

Not-so-superficial was for reader's blog, not for the depth of reader's mind, if I can keep things simple. "No-more-no-less".

As a courtesy of blogging one would of course like to follow the fellow's one and return the same...I don't think you'll disagree.
And is there only a sociology class on your blog by the way...I saw a lot more :)

I hope we are getting over this on a positive note...are we.

Keep Blogging!

anji said...